Widow of slain officer seeking joyful life while honoring husband's memory

KISSIMMEE, Fla. - On August 18, 2017, Kissimmee Police Sgt. Sam Howard and Officer Matthew Baxter were responding to a routine check on three suspicious people near an intersection when police say Everett Miller pulled out a gun and shot both officers.

"I was just at home with our princesses watching the movie 'Moana,' our family favorite, when I started getting phone calls from friends telling me something bad happened," explained Sadia Baxter. "I got in my work car and started heading that way, not knowing what I was going to respond to."

At the time, Sadia was also an officer for Kissimmee police. She and Matthew had met on the job and fell in love. They had three beautiful girls: Sariah, Zarah, and Sofia.

"As I was driving to the hospital, I was anticipating the worst and by far, it was the worst day of my life," she said. "We did talk about 'what if, what if he never came home' and 'what if I never came home,' and unfortunately, with being law enforcement officers, it is a topic that's important to talk about."

She would soon learn of her husband's death, but her next greatest challenge was yet to come: breaking the news to her daughters.

"I had to get the strength to enter this home knowing that I will be their sole provider, so it was very scary and I didn't know exactly what to do, but I did know in that single moment, I had to be a mother."

Sadia had to find the strength to make it through Matthew's funeral, and then the trial of the man accused of killing her husband and Sgt. Howard.  Last fall, a jury found Miller guilty and recommended the death penalty.  The decision to forgive came next.

"Hate is the reason we got into this situation and hate is not what I want to teach my kids. I want them to learn to love and forgive," she explained. 

For two years after Matthew's death, Sadia's home was filled with photos and memories of him. She and the girls appeared in a powerful public service announcement for the Tunnel to Towers Foundation, a charity that supports families of fallen military and police officers.

She even had a memorial room set up, but after months of therapy and reflection, she decided the time was right to take the pictures down.

"We will let the girls pick out which ones they want in their room and make sure they still remember their dad, but it's ok not to have a house full with every picture we've ever taken on every inch of the wall. You know, it's ok to close that chapter, but never forget and move forward," she said.

"Right after Matthew passed, I felt like my whole world was crushed and now I feel a sense of empowerment. I feel like it's ok to move forward in the midst of tragedy and for those who experience different tragedies in their life, I want them to know that you will get through it."

Sadia is now working for the Florida Department of Law Enforcement in the cybercrime unit.  She says protecting children who have been exploited gives her a great sense of purpose. 

The judge in the Miller case will get the final say on his punishment.  The sentencing is set for early April.