'Grief is always complicated': Pulse site brings comfort for some, pain for others

For some survivors of the Pulse Nightclub, Orlando Torres, visiting the memorial at the club site brings comfort. For others, like Maria Jose Wright whose son Jerry died at Pulse, it's still too painful.

ORLANDO, Fla. - For Orlando Torres, the morning of June 12, 2016, seems like yesterday. He said he survived the Pulse Nightclub attack by hiding in a bathroom.

"Heard the ‘pop, pop, pop!’" he said. "I locked the door and laid on top of the toilet bowl sideways with my feet up."

Hours later, law enforcement officers broke through a wall in the club so that Torres and other survivors could crawl to safety.

We talked to him five years ago, after he was released from the hospital.

"My life was flashing in front of me and it was so hard to believe we were still surviving and how many hours we were laying there from the beginning to the end," he told us.

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Today, he said it helps to be with other survivors at the memorial.

"It’s just great to see the faces and showing love and hug and just supporting each other as always," he explained.

While some survivors and family members choose to come to the Pulse site for comfort, others said it's just too difficult.

"It’s been so hard for me this time," said Maria Jose Wright whose son Jerry died at Pulse. "I can’t bring myself to go to Orlando this year."

Community marks 5-year anniversary of Pulse

Family and friends of the 49 Pulse nightclub victims gathered on Saturday in Orlando to read their names as a bell tolled for each one of them.

This year, she planned to stay home in Miami with her new grandbaby.

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"I think we have to realize that we need to do what’s best for us and that can be very challenging because grief is always complicated," she said.

"I know many of the survivors are still struggling in life," Torres added.

While Wright won't be in Orlando this week, she had a message on this somber anniversary.

"This year more than most, we need to remember to be compassionate. We need to remember to be tolerant. We need to remember that we cannot let hate win."

Watch FOX 35 News for more coverage of the 5-year anniversary of the Pulse shooting.